You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/outcome.php

I remember how I felt when I looked in to his eyes.  It sounds so cliché but its true.  The happiness I felt was yelling at him thorough my eyes.  He knew it, he felt it and he returned it.  He was the only one who understood the joy in my eyes.  There have been others, but the look, they never understood the look that explained just how I felt.  Of course it was never as intense as it was with him.  They did not deserve the intensity, they didn’t understand. He might have been the only one I felt comfortable being that happy with, there was no reason to pretend otherwise.

            I remember that day, that beigy-brown-yellow day.  It was raining, it was so beautiful.  It was my favorite type of weather, it still is.  We were laying around on my bed, the room was bright.  I was so happy, I was crying, I couldn’t stop and the smile wouldn’t leave my lips.  “I think I’m in love with you”

            Time.

            He got drunk, I never did like him drunk.  “Tell me we are going to be together for ever…” “Forever is a really long time.”

            In the train. Tears. Desire to get out.  No remorse. Pain.

            Time.

            Dread.

            Emptiness.

            Change. Gone. Pain.

Currently Playing Mitch All Together [CD & DVD] By Mitch Hedberg see related

I love stupid people.

I have a new crush.  I'm sure he knows that I like him and hopefully he likes me too.  It's like I'm in 5th grade all over again.  This time no hair pulling.   Hehe me is happy. 

Also I got that architecture internship.  So I get to work 4 days for 6 hrs a week and go to some class on another day.  AND I have to dress professionally which is kinda cool exept that now I need to go shopping. 

It just hit me, its 12 53 AM and I have no1 to call.    What happened to all my late nite convos? What happened to me talking to any1 at all? I feel like i hate all the poeple i should love because they are moving on.  moving on to better things... things that dont include me. to people i dont like--wouldnt like. 

I keep thinking about the past.  8th grade.  the few people i liked from school and camp.  Alina... Dasha... Yana... Luba...  i wonder how they are. Max, ahh Max.  so many memories. 

Running out of time, thats how i feel.  So many projects, papers, responsibilities.  All part of my time managment problem.  Oh yes, and I cant forget the SATS, nooooo mother wont let.  

Soooo, conclusion?  Yes, i must let go.  How many times have i said that before? 7.  And every time I mean it more and more.  Its the best thing for all the people involved.  But I am too selfish... selfish and hateful.  Damn me. 

On the bright side, 18 days smoke free.